Dear Pete,

So, about the 24-hour delay in pizza dough logistics—I owe you a comprehensive, highly technical, deeply spiritual explanation. Strap in:

Yesterday, I embarked on what I believed was a noble quest: to harden our VPN setup using nordlynx, the blazing-fast, ultramodern WireGuard protocol that promised speed, security, and the power to punch through firewalls like a hot ladle through sauce.

I assumed something was broken—because the interface didn’t say what I thought it should, the route table looked suspiciously unchanged, and curl gave me an IP that wasn’t signed in blood by NordVPN’s CEO. Naturally, I descended into the forbidden labyrinth of ufw, iptables, resolvectl, before.rules, and a series of hastily duct-taped Bash scripts written during what I can only describe as a fugue state.

I tried deleting default routes. They came back. I rewrote firewall rules. They rewrote me. I created a script to fix the thing the first script broke. Then another to fix the fixer. At one point, I had three active DNS configurations, two fake symlinks, and no Internet.

By hour 9, I was arguing with a nordlynx interface that was fully functional the whole time, but very shy about it. Turns out, NordVPN doesn’t touch your default route—it just ninja-stitches iptables rules behind your back and silently reroutes all your traffic through its own cloaked reality bubble. My IP was tunneled. My DNS was secure. I was, in fact, already protected before I touched a single config file.

By hour 12 I had created a firewall so locked down not even my hopes could get through.

At hour 17, I realized the kill-switch wouldn’t work because I had previously disabled the daemon required to run the kill-switch... in a script... that I wrote... to protect the kill-switch.

Finally, at hour 23, I restored everything to what it was before I touched it. NordVPN connected. My IP changed. The logs purred with stability. The pizza doughs, tragically, had not made themselves.

So, yes—I am 24 hours behind. But I am now spiritually one with the VPN stack, and our network traffic has never been more self-aware.

Sincerely,
Jonny